Boss Babes & Toxic Positivity Culture

When you hear the phrase “boss babe” or “mompreneur” what emotion does that evoke in you? Have you noticed that there’s been such a focus on having a positive only attitude aka good vibes only especially since Spring 2020? You know, when the world literally came crashing down around all of us but we still had to think positive!

When I hear the phrase boss babe, I roll my eyes pretty far back in my head. Why? Because it screams MLM to me. MLM is what’s known as multi-level marketing, and as someone who works in actual marketing, I hate them.

Boss Babes & MLM’s – What’s the correlation?

For years and years and years, MLM companies have been in existence. Avon anyone? Tupperware. Beachbody. Mary-Kay. Plexus. Herbalife. Shall I continue? There are SO MANY and in recent years, the goal has been to focus on building online communities with their social media to recruit people to join their teams. Now, I am not going to go deep into MLM but if you feel like going down that rabbit hole (it’s exceptionally interesting) I have a couple of people you should check out.  CC Suarez and Hannah Alonzo are my two favourite people to watch on YouTube with regards to MLM deep dives.  I am also getting into Deanna Mims as she was previously a Beachbody coach and has lots of stories to tell.

I strongly suggest checking them out. Enjoy your new addiction!

Now, especially since the pandemic has wreaked havoc in our lives, these MLM boss babes have been relentless. There is nothing wrong with a side hustle and earn some extra cash, but an MLM is not the way to do that. These boss babes have such a toxic positivity attitude, that it just sends those that don’t succeed (which is 99% of people) into a spiral of feeling like a failure because everyone is so successful.

Don’t believe everything you see.

Social media is a breeding ground for toxic positivity culture …and boss babes.

As someone who works in social media, there are huge benefits to social media. However, social media is not real life in so many circumstances. People only post the highlights of their lives aka their highlight reel showcasing only what they want you to see. I post a lot about running, and I always make sure to include the bad with the good. Not everything is going to go well, and I am a proponent of showing both sides on my social profiles.

Freelancing is also hard work which has been my tied me over throughout the pandemic while being laid off sitch. It’s not as easy as people make it look so yes, it can make for a great side hustle or even a full-time job, but it’s not for everyone.

I’ve noticed a lot of toxic positivity online in the last couple of years. Some people took on these MLM hustles, in a world where all of the sudden financial security was a huge problem for lots of people. Lots of “boss babes” flaunting this image of a perfect life where she’s running her own business and earning a six-figure income.

But you know what has happened recently? There have been dips among many. Why? I mean, I’ll leave that to my YouTube creators who deep dive into MLM content, but it’s because people see that it’s nearly impossible to rank up unless they got into the “business” in the early years.

Dear Boss Babes: Life Isn’t Always A Bowl Of Sunshine

Honestly, if life is always super positive, something seems a little suspect. Yes, I do believe we should always look for the positives, but sometimes life sucks. That’s just fact. Toxic positivity is defined as the belief in finding the positive in every situation regardless of how dire the situation or circumstance may be. An obsession with being positive.

If you’ve interacted, or know, the stereotypical boss babe, you know that they harp on being positive. If you’re not finding the positive in everything, you’ll fail in building your side hustle.

I am all for a good hustle, but accepting the negatives with the positives helps you grow. Whether that’s you as a person or as a brand if you’re a business owner / self-employed. Accepting and learning from the negative experiences in your life helps propel you forwards.

How to handle toxic positivity

1. Acknowledge your feelings/emotions are valid. They’ve occurred for a reason so acknowledge them first and foremost.
2. Recognize that your emotions are information. Emotions of all kinds are good, and they help us evolve as a being.
3. Practice mindfulness and sit with your emotions. When you become self-aware of your emotions, you can begin to assess and analyze.
4. If you’re discussing your feelings/emotions with someone close to you, be upfront with your needs during the conversation. Let them know you don’t need a positive spin, you just need to vent/talk through your current situation or circumstance that has you down.

Boss Babes & Toxic Positivity

You don’t need to cut these people out of your life. If you do find that it is too much, you can take a step back. Positivity is not the be-all and end-all. The obsession with positivity being the only road to success in all aspects of our lives isn’t healthy.

Not acknowledging and accepting negative emotions is not healthy.

A prime example for me is when we were forced out of our condo because of a flood caused by a fire. Sure, I was positive and happy that all my neighbours were safe and that things, not people were destroyed. However, I was upset that we were displaced and were embarking on a costly insurance claim for something we didn’t cause. Those feelings were – and still are – valid.

Several people that I know obsess on the positive side of life tried to convince me there isn’t a negative here. “Renovate your condo“, was the solution made to me on different occasions. I love this condo, and we had zero plans to renovate it. Had I finally gotten close to getting Jason to agree to paint colours? Yes. But anything else was years away.

Toxic positivity in this example would mean shoving aside the negative emotions and focusing only on the positive. Just know that there is room for both emotions. How you act upon the circumstance is a topic for a different day.

Positive Vibes and Moving Forward

Positive and negative emotions/feelings are valid. You are allowed to feel those things. Regardless of whether in your personal day-to-day life or within your career, acknowledging your emotions will help you grow.

Don’t fall into the obsessive positive vibes only. It’s not healthy for you, contrary to what boss babes may show online. If you find yourself falling into focusing on the positives only, don’t worry. It can take a long time to break habits that we’ve unwillingly grown into and are trying to change.

It’s fine to try and look for the positives in a situation, but ignoring the “negative” emotions isn’t healthy.