Chrismukkah – How We Blended

Chrismukkah is celebrated in our household as I grew up as a Christian/Catholic and Jason grew up Jewish. When we started dating, it was a little difficult to navigate at first since traditionally Jews follow the Hebrew calendar therefore the timing of holidays changes from year to year. However, combining our lives and traditions was easier than we ever could’ve thought.

Let me preface this by saying that neither one of us is religious. Yes, we grew up with the religion our parents taught us hence the celebration of various holidays with family. But no, that didn’t carry into adulthood for either of us. And yes, Jason’s family has always been on board with this and my in-law’s touch base with me every year to wish me a Merry Christmas.

Didn’t Chrismukkah Come From The OC?

For those of you reading this that are old enough to remember, there once was a show called The O.C and yes, Seth “created” Christmukkah and it was celebrated every season until it was cancelled. However, what I didn’t realize was that Chrismukkah was actually created way back in the 19th century in Germany and Austria. However, the holiday celebration fizzled out when Hitler came to power.

You could say that The O.C. brought the term back into the spotlight. But in all honesty, it’s the perfect way for “interfaith couples” to celebrate both holidays. Chrismukkah officially came to life in the Smith/Feldstein household back in 2011. Does anyone else know the significance of that year? The Canucks playoff run for the Stanley Cup. Man, what a year!

Blending Our Families

We dated for four or five years before moving in together, as he was finishing College and well, I worked 🙂 Over the years we didn’t live together, we had time to spend with each other’s families over the holidays and partake in traditions we’d never encountered before.

I do come from a divorced household, so technically, I had three Christmases to celebrate. Jason made this all so much easier by not coming from a family that celebrates Christmas 😉

Blending together was easier than I could’ve ever imagined. I was invited to all family celebrations basically from the beginning and slowly but surely learned enough to hum and sometimes say the prayers out loud for the food and/or holiday. When our nieces were born (well Jason’s at the time only, but that’s a discussion for a whole other day) weekly Friday night Shabbat dinners were on and I was invited.

The same went the other way. Jason was invited to all family gatherings – holidays or otherwise – and my family has always asked if there was anything he doesn’t eat that they should refrain from cooking. There isn’t – but the open lines of communication were always appreciated.

When we announced we were moving in together, no one was surprised nor had any concerns about how we’d navigate blending together. I mean, we’d had about 4 or 5 years of practice, just without sharing a roof over our heads.

Then Came Chrismukkah

Over the years, I had learnt and helped with preparing some of the traditional foods for holidays like gefilte fish for Passover or latkes for Hanukkah. And Jason was well equipped with our traditions for food over Christmas. As I now only celebrate with my aunt, uncle, grandma and cousins, it’s a whole event over two days. Go big or go home for Christmas!

Jason knew that I had a Christmas tree and I planned on putting it up in December, but I also wanted to make sure we had a Menorah to put out and light each night of Hanukkah. Neither of us is big on lots of decorative pieces, so I knew that I wouldn’t bombard him with Christmas. Not that he would have cared in all honesty.

The only agreement we have in place is that when Hanukkah falls over Christmas, that Hanukkah dinner with the family is not on the 24th, 25th, or 26th. The 24th is our night to do Jewish Christmas aka takeout and a movie or three. The 25th and 26th are spent with my family and as Hanukkah consists of eight nights, there are 5 other evenings to choose from 🙂

It’s not always this easy

I get that for many mixed-faith couples, it isn’t this easy. Sometimes your family or families aren’t on board or think that one should convert to the other. But may my only piece of advice to you be that you do what works for both of you, not your parents. Sure, sounds easier than it is. But ultimately, your life is centred around what you want. When you centre your life around what others want for you, you’re not very happy and that’s no good for anybody.

Everyone’s situation is unique, and yes we get away easily here by celebrating two different holidays to the general eye. But if one family had been less invitational and warm, our Christmas and Hanukkah celebrations could look a lot different.

Again, as we don’t celebrate the religious aspect of these holidays, it makes it a little easier to not celebrate one or the other.

Chrismukkah Til Death Do Us Part

I love incorporating both Hanukkah and Christmas into the December holiday season. I honestly can’t imagine not incorporating Hanukkah now. I mean, I feel like death after all the oily foods (mmmm latkes), but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

And I don’t see Jason complaining about a full-blown turkey Christmas dinner, with all the Christmas sweets to go with. As my cousins get older and start their own families, the holidays will shift once again. So long as I get to spend some time with family, indulge in all the food, and play some games, I don’t care when we celebrate.

I’m in it for the long-haul y’all. My inlaws are stuck with me, and so long as we keep making the latkes, I’m sure we’ll always be invited.

How have you blended your families together for Christmas, Hanukkah or whatever you choose to celebrate?